At 6:15 am, the first kale parade rolled out of Springfield City Hall's parking lot onto Main Street, led by a marching band of local farmers in neon green aprons and carrying oversized bowls of diced kale. I never thought I'd see a kale parade before my coffee.
The highlight was a flock of 50 pigeons released from a crane that squeaked at precisely 06:16:02, each wearing a tiny blue bandana, as a local DJ spun “Morning Glory” by Fleetwood Mac. Those pigeons probably had better fashion sense than most of us.
Participants could grab a free 12‑ounce smoothie from “Squeeze & Go” on 5th Ave, where barista Miguel Ramirez served a “Kale & Cucumber” certified organic by the Springfield Agricultural Board.
Mayor Linda Hart, wearing a sunhat with a built‑in Bluetooth speaker, announced a city‑wide policy to have all buses play Beethoven at 7:00 am, promising “a more cultured commute.” I wonder if the buses will actually listen.
