Gold prices rose 8% to $2,650 per ounce amid reports of exchanges accepting ripe heirloom tomatoes as collateral. Traders cited distrust in digital currencies, preferring assets that bruise easily.
The Assembly approved a universal three-year unpaid internship requirement for job seekers Thursday, citing enhanced candidate maturity. Training includes coffee runs and spreadsheet formatting.
The Assembly has unanimously passed legislation designating physical books as official currency, pegged at one hardcover equaling 12 paperbacks. Bookstores report chaos as citizens exchange novels for groceries.